butterflies

It is with butterflies in my the pit of my stomach that I write this post. I leave London is less than 24 hours, leave a life behind - I've made some of the bestest friends here and I am confident of the fact that we will remain close friends for life. I share my secrets, my fears, my hopes and my life here with them and vice-versa.
This transition to Bombay, that I was so looking forward to when I came to London 2 months ago is now making my heart flip and my mind wander.
I will miss everything and everyone so much. So so so much. Walking around, Starbucks, meeting up with friends, running up the stairs at St. Martins, night outs in bars and being a student and the independence it offers. Most of all though, I will miss all my favourite people - they have made a difference in my life in more ways than they can imagine.
I had a great party on Wednesday with my class, a super night out with my best friend in London C, ending up pissed drunk in Koko and dinner last night at Neems, like a couples thing with M visiting me, bringing some wine- very cosy and sweet. Tonight I do my final dinner in Camden Town, and I'm sure it's going to get very emotional for me.
It is hard not to feel a pang of nostalgia or tears pricking at the corners of eyes. I woke up this morning and wanted to sob, it so hard to let go when you've finally found your spot in the world.
One last post to go before I board the flight tommorow. And then Goodbye London, Hello World.
Thank you. I love you very much and hope to see you soon in February.

Change of plans

This blog is turning more and more into a new version of Bridget Jones's Diary. So I have decided to take a step back from my personal life and talk more about other things that I enjoy doing or have discovered in London.

1>Eating Falafels at the Camden Loch and browsing around the Camden Town street market. Psy lovers should check out this little store in the corner inside the canal market called Cyber Dog. Infected Mushroom played in-store this weekend and their website kicks ass -
http://www.cyberdog.net/about.html
They retail very crazy digital art and UV reflecting tee's. I also found this stall with pretty mirrors, but he seems to have vanished - and there's one from Mexico with intricate bead work done by indigenous tribes. Refuse to buy anything that's made in India - Pashminas, incense, brass knick-knacks, silver trinkets and what-have-you.
Nearest tube: Camden Town

2> Rock Climbing at Castlerock. It is worth a try, even if the back and various muscles you never knew existed in your arms and legs hurt like mad the next day. Great workout and an adrenaline rush at the top.
http://www.castle-climbing.co.uk/about-the-castle/routes-and-bouldering.html
Nearest tube: Manor House

3> Hanging around South Bank. This i've written about so many times I won't mention it anymore

4> Carnaby Street with christmas decorations. Beautiful.

Freak Chick

Ok i know i'm a freak, and I totally freaked M out last night for cancelling our weekend date.

I have reason to believe one of the following possibilities -


1> In a long-term relationship with a girlfriend who might be on holiday at the moment
2> In a live in relationship with someone, perhaps the lead singer of his band
3> could have a wife and three kids (no ring but 4 door car)
4> He could be unemployed, paranoid with ocd or simply normal and i'm the freak.

I have reason to believe all of the above -
1> He always cancels our dates on weekends for strange reasons
2> He never invites me over to his, when i offer to come down to his place instead to save him travelling after work, he behaves very understanding - and 'understands that I have lots to do and London is obviously more fun.'
3> He never answers my calls first, but calls me back at a time suitable to him (my flatmate thinks this is the most obvious sign of marriage!!)
4> He only wants to see me mid-week i.e excuses to wife could be - business trip to London.
5> He's super charming, and knows the right things to say to me all the time

Or

It could just be that i'm seriously a freak who over-analyzes everything and is going over-board with my assumptions. He does send me the most beautiful text messages though. J'adore!!

Date tonight - London Bridge Station at 7.30 - I have nothing to wear as usual so am going shopping for a pretty date outfit.

At this point - I'm hoping that he falls madly in love with me, decides to move to India and we live happily ever after in Goa or something. (And ofcourse, that he is neither or the above)

Hangovers

Another night out in London, lots of sugary cocktails, some shots thrown in and I've woken up with the worst hangover ever.
And i've also managed to lose my voice. Now the facial has vanished, and I simply look pale and gray all over again.
The darned magic lasted all of one day. It's back to waiting for one bloody text so I can get on with my life and catch that flight.

Everythings Magic

Everything, everything's magic
Just sit back and hold on, but hold on tight
Prepare for the best and the fastest ride
And reach out your hand, and i'll make you mine
Everything, everything's magic


I must have done something fantastic to deserve all the fantastic treats that have come my way this last week.
This evening, the first perk of my new job, a facial at the best facialist in town - Vaishaly Patel along with a goodie bag to match my skin type.
Last week has been extra special - the Irish guy i met on the weekend did call. He was supposed to come visit me for one evening and we ended up spending three days together. Absolutely divine, the feeling with butterflies and teenage crushes. It was almost like a dream, lying in bed until 1 in the afternoon, strolling around the canal, getting Starbucks and sitting by the loch- he smoking his first cigarette. It's amazing how little time one needs to know someone, then feel like you know them forever. And he comes into my life at the right moment, just when I was thinking that my life was over - that I would never be over V - I meet someone new.

Recommended date trip in London -
Go down to the Tate Modern to see the crack in the Turbine Hall. Stroll along South Bank with the twinkling lights and the London eye. Cross over the millennium bridge, into St. Pauls - walk over to the city of London and into Aldywch. Find the Opera pub, get cocktails. Walk over past Holborn and into Covent Garden, through the market - magical in Christmas with all the white lights. Kiss under the streetlight at the corner. Then walk on to Leicester Square and then into Soho - a lovely meal at Busaba with a big bottle of Shiraz (the queue is worth it and it's romantic holding hands in the cold. Smile.
Nearest tube stop: Waterloo (Start here)


Treats also include -
A pair of black twill jeans at Armani Exchange
A red silk dress at Armani Exchange ( He's promised to wear a suit and take me somewhere posh)
Odd beads, a pair of shorts, panda pyjamas and 2 little dresses at Primark (Yes, I've succumbed to the low prices!! I've sold my soul to low quality and lower price tags)

Now I would like to buy -
A pair of sexy black shoes and silk stockings for the dress.
A Tiffany something for my mum's birthday next week.


Everything, everything's magic
Just sit back and hold on, but hold on tight
Prepare for the best and the fastest ride
And reach out your hand, and i'll make you mine
Everything, everything's magic

I don't like Ansel Adams but I sure love Vincent

Which Famous Artist Are You?
	You are part Ansel Adams. Your artistic tool of choice is the camera, but you've got lots of other skills as well. Spoiled when you were young, you grew up to be a loving person and you have a deep affinity for nature and all things black and white.
	You are part Vincent van Gogh. You were troubled at an early age and your art showed it. You're still in a growing stage and much of your brilliance and bottled up expression has yet to be revealed. Keep at it and you have the potential to become one of the greats.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

Flamenco

I love Flamenco, heard it live for the first time in a little bar in Barcelona. Last night, ended up with my lovely neighbours, at a small flamenco performance put together by one of their friends. Even better is was free, held in the Good Enough college common room. When you drink beer for a quid in union bars, you realise how bars and pubs in London rip you off!!
The guitarist, Fernando is playing today at a proper concert in Euston for those who want to watch it. There'll even be three dancers. Ole!

http://www.myspace.com/fernandodelarua

Nearest tube: Euston

Sunday, Bloody Sunday

Good morning,

Another Sunday morning - gray, windy, cold. Winter is here. A brief update since i wrote the to-do list
I didnt do the following -
1>Walk around Regents Park
2>Book my tickets
3>Avoid alcohol and sugar

Instead i ended up in Tunbridge Wells, visiting an old friend. She lives in this cosy little house - and we were thinking of doing something relaxed, get a drink or two at the most. Even setting a budget - 15 quid. We spent the night at this pub which sort of turns into a club - very crazy, drinking vodka/diet cokes and shaking to the 80's. It was freezing in Tunbridge Wells - after a certain point I couldn't feel my toes no more, dressed as i was for London.
Met someone too, we were checking each other out all evening and I thought he might be Scandinavian because of his blonde hair and blue eyes. Turned out to be Irish, Sales exec in advertising, part -time guitarist in a band and a songwriter. We spent all night talking on my friends couch, In the morning I discovered he studied art history at uni. I might see him again today, which brings me back to - this gray, cold Sunday - couldn't it be blue and sunny, especially for me? today? It also sucks that i need to leave the country in 15 days or so, now i'm beginning to feel the first signs of panic.

To do lists

Just as I logged in to my blogger account, I watched a Youtube video of a woman who has published a book with people's to-do lists. I'm inspired.

Here's mine for today -

1> Complete research and interview questionnaire for Vogue India.
2> Follow up on my fees
3> Make peace with flatmate
4> Get knickers out of the dryer and actually dry them
5> Check bank balance
6> Send thank you note to V
7> Stop obsessing over my email and check inbox only twice a day (!when Gtalk says there is only 1 unread mail - there is only 1 unread mail - no, he won't mail until Monday morning!)
8> Walk around Regents Park - twice
9> Weigh myself - avoid alcohol and sugar. Cellulite is not sexy.
10> Face reality - snap out of romantic fantasies, planning dream weddings, holidays, home decor and so on.
11> Change my ticket dates
12> Book a hair cut appointment avec flatmate - as a olive branch
13> Stop thinking about the bartender from Made in Brazil - He has your no. he will call or he won't call.
14> Dry my hair - which I should put on top of my priority list as it's still wet and I have a bad cold
15> Do some yoga - breathe deeply.
16> Drink 8 glasses of water
17> Do all of the above before 00.00

blank

I'm just back from a run - I can still feel the cold air on my forehead.

Nostalgia gripped me this morning.What I would not give to have all of it back. I don't even know what I want anymore. I act on impulse and I'm crazy. Thats all I can say.

Every cloud has a silver lining

Good morning,

I wake up to a phone call from my lovely parents. It always makes me feel so secure and happy to hear their comforting voice. To know, that they are always there for me, when I am in trouble, and always happy at my little victories.

I also received a sweet little mail from V, and I'm not so worried about staying an extra week in London for my rent anymore. The strange thing though, is that I still care about him. I worry that he has a cold.I hope he is drinking enough tea and sleeping well because I know his migraines can be a nightmare.

As human beings we have an amazing ability to forget and only cling to what we want to cling to. With some people, you want to cling to the bad memories, so you can never bring yourself to go back, with others, you want to cling to the sweet ones, so you can finally let go.

It is very cloudy, cold and gray outside. But I am smiling this morning. This blog is a thank you, to all the wonderful people who have made me smile after a whole week, this morning. And that for most people who know me, is a very long time indeed - i'm a happy fluffy bunny on most days.

On second thoughts, I need to thank Caro as well , the phone no. at the Brazilian bar did make me chirpy on sat night :)

Financial woes and domestic bliss

I have never really been broke before, there's always been Dad to the rescue. This time it's different. I'm waiting for my university to refund some fees - ex boyfriend needs to pay me back some money I lent.
Now I wish
1> I had been smart and crosschecked with the university before paying them the extra fees.
2> That I had never offered any money, feeling bad that my poor ex would have no money at all and how he would manage.
3> That I had never been his girlfriend in the first place!

Now my jeans are torn - I have no money to buy a new pair, and I have to stay longer because of the fees, so the rent is driving me mad and my friends are sick of listening to my stupid stories, and sick of writing dumb money emails to the ex and well it's blog to the rescue.

I'm finding cleaning therapeutic. I've been sweeping the whole house, mopped the floors with nice lavender soap and cleaned the hob. My flatmates and me baked a lovely chocolate banana cake -perfect for Sunday afternoon, tea and cake. We used the new iphone to download the recipe from Nigella's website (grocery lists with pen and paper are so passé, then went hunting for ingredients in the Sainsbury next door. (In case you are so out of it - Nigella Lawson is the domestic goddess with tons of sex appeal)

It turned out incredible, although a little bit dry and I will share the recipe with my own personal changes -

75g (3oz) chocolate (we used the Lindt 85% cocoa version)

110g (4oz) soft butter (M&S softer yellow butter)

125g (4 ½ oz) caster sugar

2 eggs

125g (4 ½ oz) self-raising flour

1 level tsp baking powder

1 rounded tbsp cocoa (Fairtrade from Africa)

2 medium bananas, peeled and mashed (Organic)



Preheat the oven to 180oC/350oF/gas 4. Line with parchment paper a 900g (2lb) loaf tin. Melt the chocolate in a low oven, microwave, or in a bowl set over a pan of barely simmering water. With a wooden spoon, cream the butter, add the sugar, and beat well; then add the eggs one by one, beating all the time. Add the sieved flour, baking powder and cocoa, followed by the melted chocolate and the mashed bananas. Stir to bring together. Pour into the prepared loaf tin and place in the preheated oven. Cook for 50-55 minutes, or until a skewer inserted into the middle comes out clean. Cool in the tin for about 5 minutes before removing.

Lagerfeld Confidentiel

"Fashion is transient, dangerous and unfair. If you want to do something safe, work behind a counter, get a promotion.If you want social justice then be a social worker."

English

I've always had the impression my spoken English was fairly good and written English was very good.
Now, I've realized living with an English flatmate, who loves taking the piss of my accent, that I make the following errors -
VALK AND WALK sound the same for me - Now i'm trying to work on my W's, so when you chat with me - you'd know the difference between WINE and VINE
I also have a weird sound for the "th" - it's hard to describe - but this one i'm sticking to my own accent.
umm and i've changed CON-VER-ZAYTION TO CUN-VER-SAYTION

Fashion terms I'm picking up from lovely Ali, are DIVINE, KISS MY FACE, MAJOR, LOVE, BEYOND, FABULOUS,LOVING, FAKE, CHEAP TRASH LIKE CHANEL R-T-W, TACKY and VINTAGE.
Examples of fashion talk - Those jeans are "Major" - I "LOVE,LOVE LOVE"


Last night at dinner, my French ex-flatmate Caroline, and me were enjoying a lovely chat in a restaurant in Soho. She, with her sexy European accent and me with my mixed up sort of Bombay/Indian one, when a man across the table leans over and asks - "excuse me! I though it was very interesting, but what language were the two of you speaking in?" Caro says, "I'm French, she's Indian, we're sitting in London, what f*cking language do you think we are speaking in??"

Sod it.

Fashion moment of the year

Cavalli dressed as Karl Lagerfeld for Halloween - HILARIOUS :)